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Lincoln Marathon

Runners turn the corner from Calvert Street onto 48th Street during the 2017 Lincoln Marathon. The event has been recognized by RaceRaves as the top marathon in Nebraska.

At the dawn of a new year, I will use my astounding powers of prophecy to offer these predictions:

When writing articles involving pets, a local journalist will use the phrase “doggone,” “gone to the dogs,” “the cat’s meow” or “purrfect."

While driving at the legal speed limit, someone in Lincoln will experience an impatient driver following dangerously close who will actually expect the first driver to speed up.

A huge group of people will decide to have a footrace down major streets in town all at the same time, causing enormous traffic tie-ups and delays -- and the police will actually cooperate with the runners.

During the first week of July, thousands of otherwise nice people will set off loud explosives indiscriminately, disturbing the peace, causing injuries and fires -- and, again, the police will allow it.

A letter to the editor will be published in which the writer seriously believes that climate change is a hoax or a conspiracy.

The president of the United States of America will publicly say or do something breathtakingly dumb.

Feel free to save this letter and, as the year goes by, check off my predictions as they come true one by one.

Larry Claassen, Lincoln

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