The recent headlines about the legalization of gay marriage in California and the efforts to reverse that decision have left me dismayed. I may be in the minority among my fellow Christians, but I
Holly Lafferty | Posted: Friday, August 15, 2008 7:00 pm
The recent headlines about the legalization of gay marriage in California and the efforts to reverse that decision have left me dismayed. I may be in the minority among my fellow Christians, but I find myself increasingly ashamed by the words and actions of the leaders of the religious right.
Why are so many squandering precious time in an attempt to outlaw gay marriage? We could be putting our efforts for God to much better use!
There are far more pressing issues the world is facing today. It should not be the priority of so many to prevent two men from calling themselves “husband and husband” rather than “partners.” Those who find homosexuality offensive to their sensibilities cannot prohibit gay relationships altogether. Seeing photos of Britney Spears without her underwear on is offensive to my sensibilities, but it seems to have sparked a trend rather than triggered legal action.
Our Constitution grants “liberty and justice for all.” Our country was established on the principle of freedom. Our founders wanted to find a refuge from religious persecution, and that means independence for everyone — even those with whom some Christians disagree.
Believers must acknowledge that God grants humans free will. Most people, Christian or not, would agree that our society takes the concept of “free will” to its extreme — young girls are sexualized at an alarmingly young age; kids steal prescription medication from their parents; Dina Lohan, mother of Lindsay Lohan, gets her own reality show — these and many other travesties are occurring around the nation. Cynics and historians concur that the nature of society is that it will deteriorate.
So, with all of the quandaries our culture is facing today, why is banning gay marriage the focus of so many Christians’ efforts? Some argue that by allowing gays to marry, we undermine the sanctity of marriage. I would counter that 10-hour celebrity marriages and drive-through churches undermine the sanctity of marriage. Divorce undermines the sanctity of marriage; at least when it’s for careless reasons. I’m not referring to those who have been abused or cheated on, but rather to the large number of Americans who find divorce an easy out when they start experiencing typical problems in their relationships.
Unfortunately for them, if members of the religious right spent as much time condemning divorce as they do gay marriage, they’d alienate half of their members.
No, it is not same-sex marriage that should determine the sanctity of one’s own marriage. One’s commitment (or lack thereof) is going to determine the sanctity of his or her marriage. How someone else defines marriage should not be the barometer by which we all measure ourselves.
It is precarious for Christians to judge others. “Judge not, that you may not be judged” (Matthew 7:1). One who finds condemning others a more valid pastime than the pursuit of bettering themselves should heed this warning. I think we’ve seen enough anti-gay Christian leaders outed in the headlines lately to know it’s true.
Moreover, religious legalism distracts from the foundation of Christianity. “Jesus replied, ‘The most important commandment is this: Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” (Mark 12:29-31).
So I beseech you, fellow Christians, to start “loving your neighbor as yourself.” We could make a greater difference by trying to live out this commandment than by trying to compel others in society to adhere to a specific set of rules. What if everyone from the religious right who is disputing gay marriage devoted their efforts to improving society in ways that might actually effect change?
Volunteer at a soup kitchen; lobby for a reformed foster care system; donate money to nonprofits that help terminally ill children. In the many causes such as these, we can actually hope to make a tangible difference. Wouldn’t Christians make a lot more headway in their cause to witness for Christ if they spent more time actually reaching out and less time pointing fingers?
Holly Lafferty works at Nebraska Wedding Day magazine.