March 11, 10:21 a.m.

Yesterday I received the most difficult news I think a parent could ever hear. There is nothing left we can do. We have decided to place our dear son on hospice to try and control the pain before his passing. …

These are words Tony Alwin prayed he never would have to write about his 4-year-old son’s battle with brain cancer.

Even harder was telling RJ — Ryne Joshua — he didn’t have to fight any more.

“I told RJ … that  if he saw an angel to go with him and be with God,” Alwin said.

RJ told his dad he wanted to keep fighting.

But then the preschooler considered the alternative. It would be cool to see God’s house.

“I want to go there for a week,” RJ told his dad. “I want God to rub my wegs.”

Alwin told his son God would not only rub his excruciatingly sore legs, but would take away his pain forever. That RJ would run and dance again — perhaps even fly.

“I could even drive a car?” RJ asked his dad.

Yup, his father told the Hot Wheels fanatic. RJ and his 2-year-old motorcycle-crazy friend, Lawson, who died of cancer earlier this year, can cruise heaven.

Until then, RJ is home in Lincoln with his dad, his grandmother, Mary Elin Alwin, and his sisters, Dyan, 11, and Rheyan, 7. He’s home, where his mom and stepfather, Steph and Chris Sargent, can sit by his side.

Home, where he will spend his final days on earth surrounded by family and friends, protected by Spider-Man, who shields him from atop his fleece blanket.

A fighter

Tony Alwin used to pray God would heal his son.

“My hope now is that our Lord will take him quickly into his arms,” Alwin wrote on the family’s Web page.

It’s been a hard 16 months since RJ was diagnosed.

It began benignly enough. Flu-like symptoms that didn’t go away. Headaches that woke RJ from a sound sleep. At first it was once or twice a night, but within days, he was waking five, six times.

His left eye began to turn inward. The doctor said it might be a lazy eye.

RJ’s parents insisted on an MRI.

It revealed several large tumors in the back of his skull — and a golf ball-size one in front on the right temporal lobe.

 “It’s immature brain cells that turn into cancer cells,” Tony Alwin said, explaining the aggressive disease called medullablastoma.

The prognosis was never good. With treatment, RJ had a 50 percent chance of surviving six months, Alwin said. Without it, death would come much sooner.

“It’s RJ’s life,” Alwin said. “I left stuff up to him.”

RJ wanted to fight — like Spider-Man, Superman, the Ninja Turtles.

He survived chemo and radiation. He had a stem cell transplant. He flew to the M.D. Anderson Clinic in Houston days after Hurricane Ike for proton radiation therapy.

Because of the hurricane, the only place RJ and his dad could stay was a retirement home in the heart of the city. A few days turned into 10 weeks, and RJ captured the hearts of the elderly residents.

They started Project Ryne, dressing teddy bears in sports jerseys and donating them to the Houston pediatric cancer hospital.

RJ’s is No. 1.

Highs and lows

The family’s journal (www.caringbridge.org/visit/rj2) reveals the ups and downs they’ve endured.

Sept. 9, 2008, 8:26 a.m.

RJs scan of his back and the spinal tap came back all clear!!

Sept. 10, 2008 11:41 a.m.

We just got a call from the oncologist that there was a mistake on the scan of his back … there are spots of disease in his spine.

Dec. 29, 2008, 8:27 a.m.

RJ was dancing up a storm last night. He started out playing with Rheyans’s Hannah Montana stage and was dancing to the music. Then he got a guitar and was pretending to be a rockstar. … He seems to be feeling great.

Dec. 29, 2008 11:07 p.m.

I am sad to update this journal with less than wonderful news … RJ’s scans showed he had tumors in both arms and both legs in his long bones.

It is hard to swallow this bitter pill. But if you read the previous journal, you know he is still RJ. He’s a wonderful kid, and he’s a fighter.

"He is amazing"

When RJ’s mom and dad think of him, they try not to focus on what will never be,  like the Make-A-Wish trip to Disney World planned for later this month.

Rather, they celebrate what RJ already has accomplished.

“He is amazing. He has fought so hard. He has been so brave,” said Steph Sargent. “He wants to be a super hero — and he has been to us.”

Even before he got sick he was special, his parents say. Despite the ravages on his body, his compassion and tenderness shine through.

He continues to reassure his parents he’s going to keep on fighting.

He’s making plans for his fifth birthday on July 1. And he talks about all of the things he will do: play baseball, football and soccer, dance with his sisters, drive a car when he’s 7.

"Coming home"

March 11, 10:21 a.m.

“I hope Jesus has ’vettes, ’cause RJ's coming home.”

Reach Erin Andersen at 473-7217 or eandersen@journalstar.com.