If you have an old couch on your porch you bought for $5 at a garage sale and can’t afford to buy outdoor furniture, a neighborhood group is here to help.

NeighborWorks’ reply to those who cried “But what if they can’t afford anything but an old couch?” is, “We’ll give free plastic outdoor furniture to the first 50 households who need it.”

The City Council has not yet decided whether it will support a ban of couches on porches, but if it does, people in need of replacement furniture can sign up for new plastic furniture by calling NeighborWorks at 477-7181.

24-pack to the first guy who…

Ed Patterson really didn’t like the Journal Star’s editorial opposing an ordinance that would ban couches from porches in Lincoln.

So much so that the Lincoln man said he darn near brought a “24-pack” (of what, he didn’t say) to the Lincoln City Council meeting Monday night, so he could offer it up to the first person willing to drag a couch to the Journal Star and plop it down in front of the door.

(After all, the headline on the Journal Star editorial did say “We like couches on porches.”)

Strong words from Assurity head

The head of Assurity recently made it clear how his company feels about having design standards in Antelope Valley.

Thomas Henning said Assurity’s board of directors “must have some assurances the area will develop in a way we will be proud to call this site our corporate headquarters for many years.”

“We are very concerned that this area develops as a true research and development corridor,” he wrote. (Is an insurance company headquarters R&D?)

Henning didn’t like Councilwoman Robin Eschliman’s attempts to pass “last-minute amendments” in late August, after a “thoughtful, thorough, community-wide process” had produced the proposed standards.

Eschliman did not succeed in removing a ban on car washes and auto repair shops.

“I don’t believe it is realistic for the city of Lincoln to expect a corporation to expend $55 million to build a new corporate headquarters facility only to find the character of the area not developing as originally intended,” Henning wrote.

After words of warning like that, it’s no surprise two weeks later the council passed the design standards without alteration.

City nears drug testing deal

The city is negotiating a new drug and alcohol testing agreement with the firefighters union, and is “very close” to a deal, according to the city personnel director.

The feds require drug and alcohol testing for city employees who are required to maintain commercial driver’s licenses (like heavy equipment operators) and most StarTran employees. The city also has a “reasonable suspicion” testing policy for all other employees.

But after two fire/ambulance employees were charged this summer with drug violations, the city began negotiating with the firefighters union to implement a new policy for fire employees.

A new labor contract — with a testing policy — goes to the union for a vote next week. If passed by the union, it then goes to the City Council for approval.

Police union approves contract

The police union approved a new labor contract last week, and legislation is being prepared for the City Council’s consideration, possibly as soon as Monday. Personnel Director Don Taute declined to disclose provisions of the contract until then.

Core survey coming

Residents of Lincoln’s core are getting letters in their mailboxes alerting them to an upcoming survey.

Doane College and Wake Forest University are conducting research on “the challenges facing residents of central city neighborhoods.” The letter says the study will help community leaders, public officials and the private sector address concerns in core neighborhoods.

“We are particularly interested in understanding your concerns about housing, employment and public safety,” the letter to residents said.

Arena-related amenities

During the recent open house about the arena, Lincolnites were asked to rank the importance of a long list of possible amenities to a new arena.

 The list offers an idea of what kind of things supporters are thinking about building — or displacing — in the area north and west of the proposed new arena.

Among the possibilities offered: Legion/high school baseball; youth baseball; baseball practice fields; soccer; indoor ice; dog run; radio control car track; BMX track; adventure/challenge course; interpretive/nature center; hiking trails; bike trails; fireworks viewing area; spray park; playground; kayaking; rollerblading; wetlands trails and education areas; basketball courts; multi-purpose fields.

She said it

“I’ll come down from my spaceship long enough to tell you ‘Thank you.’”

— Councilwoman Robin Eschliman, after Ed Patterson thanked her for introducing an ordinance banning indoor furniture from being used outdoors. Eschliman was skewered by Journal Star cartoonist Neal Obermeyer for her spacey idea.

Reach Deena Winter at 473-2642 or dwinter@journalstar.com.