Stories of Home: Stevens family keeps connected despite separation
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BY ERIN ANDERSEN / Lincoln Journal Star
Last summer the Lincoln Arts Council announced its search for families to feature in its unique public art project — Stories of Home. Stories of Home pairs local visual artists with Lincoln area families. Over seven months the families share their stories and their lives with the artist, who then transforms these images into some visual artistic format depicting the families’ stories. Each art piece must fit in a 48x24x36-inch crate and not weigh more than 80 pounds.
Philadelphia artist Pepon Osorio is the project’s artistic director and inspiration. Years ago, Osorio created a tabletop installation called “Tina’s House,” reflecting the story of a single mother and her two daughters, who lost their home to a fire.
Rose Ann Dowty, a Lincoln Arts Council Board member, saw “Tina’s House” in the PBS series “Art21 — Art in the Twenty-First Century”and thought something similar could be done in Lincoln as a community art project.
Thus, Stories of Home was born.
Artists and families have been working together since October. The artwork will be completed in May. Pieces will go on display in public settings as well as in small receptions in the homes of the participating families.
Over the next 12 weeks, Hubbub will introduce each of the families whose life stories are being transformed into public works of art. You will meet families who have come to Lincoln from points across the globe; families who struggle with a variety of issues; multiple generations of family, whose stories tell of intense love, dedication and perseverance; diverse families who may look different or live differently from you and me, but by looking within the walls of their homes we can see they are very much like us — they are families.
We begin our Stories of Home series this week with Chad and Susan Stevens.
It’s 8:40 p.m. Tuesday, and Susan Stevens is waiting for the telephone to ring.
“Hmmm, he’s late tonight,” she says with a shrug.
That’s unusual. Typically Chad Stevens is like clockwork (the military will do that to you) and calls at exactly 8:30 p.m. — 5:30 a.m. Iraq time.
A jarring ring interrupts the nervous silence. A small, but visible, wave of relief crosses her face. She breaks into a huge smile. “Hello?”
“Hi, sweetie,” comes the voice over the speaker phone, noticeably delayed by the 6,765 miles separating husband and wife.
Susan clips the cordless phone to her collar and chats about her day. Chad likes to listen as she moves about the house — guessing what she’s doing by the background noises.
“Oh, you must be in the linen closet.” The door has a telltale squeak.
“Are you doing dishes?” Water running.
It’s become a nightly ritual for these relative newlyweds who keep in contact via the telephone, computer instant messaging and monthly video teleconferences.
Chad left for Fort Riley, Kan., in July — around the same time Susan submitted their family’s application to the Lincoln Arts Council’s Stories of Home community art project.
“I wanted to share our story,” she says. “Not just because it is our story, but because the (military) deployment represents a lot more families in our community.
“I applied as a current family rather than a family with a history,” Susan says.
The 12 Stories of Home families come from all walks of life, representing various ethnicities, ages and life situations.
Susan sees her family’s story as one affected directly by the war in Iraq. Not only is Chad stationed in Al Asad, the U.S. military base in northern Iraq, but so is her 22-year-old son and only child, Jonathan Musilek, who serves in the Nebraska Army National Guard’s 67th ASG unit along with his stepfather. He and Chad shipped out to Iraq shortly after Labor Day, September 2005. They plan to be back in September 2006.
Susan served 22 years in the military before retiring in 2004 and continuing military employment as a civilian. She understands the system, the risks, the demands. Her specialty is personnel management — the military equivalent to the business world’s human resource officers.
She has seen firsthand how hard deployment is on families.
Just how hard hit last summer and fall as she said goodbye to the two men in her life.
“It doesn’t matter how old your kids are. It doesn’t matter how long you have been married. Deployment — there’s never good timing for it,” Susan says.
It’s empty. Lonely. And sometimes overcrowded by loving friends and family who want to spare her from feeling alone.
Last July as Chad shipped out to Fort Riley and trained for his duties in Iraq, Susan’s and Chad’s families came to Lincoln, first for goodbyes, and then to help Susan adjust to the emptiness.
“I didn’t have time to grieve,” she recalls. “It was really overwhelming.
“When everything quieted down I cried for three days straight. Since then, I’ve been in a state of existence.”
Lonely existence.
B.C. (“before Chad”) she was a single mother to Jonathan for 12 years. Then she married Chad in 2002. The house was never empty.
Now it’s just her, Murray the cat, and Morgan and Molly the dogs. They keep her company. They fill the empty space in the bed at night. But they don’t fill the void.
“I grieve like I lost a loved one,” she said.
It’s the little things she notices. No one to help let the animals in and out. No one to answer the phone when she is busy elsewhere in the house. No one to answer the door.
“Everything is by yourself.”
“The grocery store is extremely lonely. You’re constantly reminded that everything is for one person. One steak. One chicken. It just feels lonely there.”
Besides, cooking for one just isn’t enjoyable.
Thank goodness for single serving Healthy Choice frozen dinners, PB&J sandwiches, canned soup and fast food drive-throughs.
“The other night, I went to Culver’s and had a turtle sundae for dinner,” she says lowering her voice as if someone might hear her.
She wears two yellow ribbons, one for each her son and her husband and a World War II-styled pin with two blue stars — for both of them.
Her book shelves are filled with pictures: Jonathan’s high school graduation, stepdaughter Deidre’s fifth-grade class picture; a wedding picture of her and Chad in front of Niagara Falls.
They struck up a friendship at work in the Army National Guard office. Susan made the first move and asked him to a movie. He declined. She figured she had misread the cues and felt stupid.
Then she got a speeding ticket and had to take the STOP class in Omaha. Chad insisted on driving her: It’s snowing. My vehicle is more reliable. …
That night he kissed her.
“That kiss … you could just tell,” Susan says.
They eloped 18 months later.
“Chad is simply my best friend. He is a rock-solid person who keeps me grounded,” Susan says.
Chad writes in an e-mail: “Susan is my source of strength to face the challenges in my life. … I treasure the friendship and love she gives to me. I am a better person because of Susan.”
Being deployed with his stepson has allowed the two to become closer.
In his pocket, Chad keeps a calendar and marks off the days — not counting to an undetermined day in September, but to milestones: Susan’s birthday, his birthday, etc.
And they have other little rituals to mark the passage of time — like changing toothbrushes the first of each month.
When Chad calls Susan Tuesday, it’s already February in Iraq.
“What color is your new toothbrush?” she asks.
“Green.”
Susan will change hers to green in the morning.
One more toothbrush gone. One more month down.
Seven more toothbrushes to go.
Meet the family
The family:
Chad Stevens, 38, lieutenant colonel and operations officer with the Army National Guard 67th ASG, stationed in Al Asad, Iraq.
Susan Stevens, 43, retired Army National Guard, now a civilian employee with the guard.
Jonathan Musilek, 22, a specialist with the Army National Guard 67th ASG, currently stationed in Al Asad, Iraq; Susan’s son from a previous marriage.
Deidre Stevens, 10, Exeter, Chad’s daughter from a previous marriage.
Pets: Murray, the cat; Morgan and Molly, the dogs.
The artist:
Leora Platte, painter.
Reach Erin Andersen at 473-7217 or eandersen@journalstar.com.
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