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Humor adds twist to 'Destroy All Humans!'
By AIMEE HATFIELD / Lincoln Journal Star
Friday, Jul 01, 2005 - 12:16:58 am CDT

Being 3 feet tall doesn't mean you can't destroy the world. And destroying the world is definitely the goal for Crypto, the small yet fierce alien protagonist in "Destroy All Humans!"

A parody of '50s-era science fiction films, "DAH!" takes the aliens' point of view. The aliens — a race called the Furons — are in danger of becoming extinct because they are unable to reproduce and their cloning technology is failing.

To keep themselves alive, the Furons have turned to humans, who all have a bit of Furon DNA in their brain stems from an "experiment" thousands of years ago. Crypto is sent to Earth to harvest this DNA.

Crypto has a vicious streak, and he can't wait to wipe out those dastardly "monkeys," as he refers to the humans. He has a number of ways to do this at his disposal.

First off, he has telekinetic powers. He can scan humans' minds to see what they're thinking or hypnotize them into falling asleep or doing something ridiculous such as the Chicken Dance (imagine the hilarity when he makes a cow do the Chicken Dance!). He also can pick up humans and items and toss them around like toothpicks.

In addition, he has his flying saucer, complete with a death ray, an abducto beam that picks up things and a sonic blast ray.

He has a number of guns, including a Zap-O-Matic that shoots electricity and a really cool Disintegrator Ray that freezes humans midstride in a ball of fire. He also has a probe gun — but I won't go into the details on that one.

Crypto has a number of missions to complete on Earth in between the mass human killings: he has to find a fellow alien clone, who crash-landed on the planet; gather DNA from the brain stems; and stop a shady government organization called the Majestic, which is trying to acquire alien technology for its own dastardly world-domination plans.

The gameplay is pretty standard. It's reminiscent of "Grand Theft Auto" in that you can freely explore levels, shoot just about anything and hunt for hidden "probes." There's also a similar tiered warning system as the humans become aware of Crypto's presence: First the civilians see him, then come the police, then the military (with tanks) and finally the Majestic agents.

It's a bit repetitive after awhile, despite how fun it is to disintegrate things and toss cows about, but the humor saves "DAH!" from being just another alien game.

Everything from the humans' thoughts to the dialogue between Crypto and his boss on the mother ship, Pox, sparkles with personality. And there are references to the time period everywhere, from the music to actors of the day to communism. It's this attention to detail that makes the experience memorable and a must-have.

Just don't refer to gray-skinned Crypto as a little green man. He's awfully touchy about that, and you just might end up at the wrong end of a Disintegrator Ray.

n n n

If you'd rather kill the aliens than be them, "Area 51" gives you that option.

"Area 51" isn't so much a remake of the classic PlayStation shooter as a new take on it. There's no light gun in this version; it's a straight-up first-person shooter, and a pretty good one at that.

But while "Area 51" is full of impressive cutscenes, and the gameplay is solid, it's seriously hurt by the story.

First off, David Duchovny (of "X-Files" fame) should not have done the voice for the main character; when his entire group is brutally killed, Duchovny sounds more like he broke a nail — "Oh, no. I liked that guy. Too bad. Oh, those two worked with me forever. Bummer. Oh well."

I hope he didn't quit his day job.

I also had trouble grasping what the overall storyline was; I knew it involved aliens and an infection and a government facility being overrun by both, but other than that, I found it easier to ignore the plot completely and just focus on blowing up things.

That's why I consider this a good game despite the weak plot: It's a solid FPS shooter, with believable mechanics and an intuitive control scheme. Play is very similar to "Doom 3," and that's a good thing. In addition, pretty early on, you get the option to switch back and forth between a human with a gun and an infected mutant with superhuman strength, which shakes things up a bit.

"Area 51" is nothing special, but if you ignore its nonsensical story and take it on its FPS merits, it's worth a play.

Reach Aimee Hatfield at 473-7326 or Aimee.Hatfield@lee.net.

Destroy All Humans!

THQ, for Xbox, Playstation 2

Rated: Teen

Cost: $49.99

Grade: B+

Area 51

Midway, for Xbox, PlayStation 2, PC

Rated: Mature

Cost: $49.99

Grade: B